Pathetic
I suppose given who I am the only place I can lament about anything is in this.I don't want to be "one of those" girls who sits around writing in a diary about sadness. However, my character is such that i do not talk about these things in person. there is no real use for it,no one wants to hear it, and there are bigger problems in the world than my petty emotions. hence, i will commiserate in here.
I have now watched the Royal Tenenbaums segment where Margo meets with the tennis player guy while Nico sings about 8 times in a row. Man, I feel Pathetic. This is not like me, I do not fall in love. EVER. but i did. I wish I could go back to being a hard core slut, but lately I have found myself disinterested in anything besides company. I always used to fall asleep when Chris played the Tenenbaums and Nico started singing... drunk, stoned, in his room with a lit cvigarette in one hand, and my other wrapped around him. He has these pretty colored lights, and posters everywhere, and records! His home was my home, his sister my sister, his family felt like my own. I am very aware he still cares and his current situation is not condusive to a relationship. But no one else really interested me anymore. I went on a date with this chick today, and eh... but whatever, she didn;t seem that keen on it in the end. I have grown apathetic.
All I have been able to do is drink alot, and find friends to entertain me and get all this shit off my mind. no one knows i feel this way towards him... i never mention it. again, this is notlike me... and if it weren't for him begging me to trust my emotions in his hand i would habve kept that wall of protection up over me and left it at that.
GOD, I AM SO PATHETIC. I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE OF THESE GIRLS. STOP THE ENSUING MADNESS, PLEASE
Current Mood: 
lonelyCurrent Music: "How to fight loneliness Smile all the time"~Wilco 
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